It is that time of year: for time with family and friends; for festive parties; holiday music and decorations; holiday-themed romantic comedies on the Hallmark channel; and….shopping (ahem, I mean giving).

The latter, quite frankly, makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. That annual question of “What do you want for Christmas this year?” Or better yet, the constant non-subtle hints by the teenagers of “you can get me x,y,z for Christmas this year.” I was actually told that a ridiculously expensive designer handbag would be very appreciated by my 17-year old step-daughter. 

I can’t seem to get the point across that things really don’t matter and usually don’t even last beyond a few months or even weeks of the initial euphoria of opening the box.

When I look back at the holidays and celebrations over the years, I can’t even remember the things I received. What I remember are the moments shared with my family and friends. I remember where we were, what we ate, what made us laugh, I even remember the smells of the food coming from my Nonna’s basement kitchen from our family Christmas gatherings.

I have tried to recreate these memories and moments with my family, by giving them experiences rather than things….whether they appreciate it or not.

When the kids were younger and we didn’t get much time with them as a family, I thought it would be a great idea to give them the gift of a trip to Disney World that following summer. I went online and bought the Mickey Mouse ears and made a big to-do about that being the last gift they opened that year. It was a ceremonious flop because they jumped the gun and tore into the box before I was ready to make my grand presentation. When they opened the gift they looked at me and said, “What’s this?”

“We’re going to Disney World!” I yelled with my big cheesy grin. 

What I got back was just a look of absolute confusion. 

“Right now?” They asked me.

“No, this summer!” I said louder hoping to get the Hollywood-worthy reaction I had imagined when purchasing the ears a few months prior.

“Oh. Fun,” they replied. “So is this our gift?” They didn’t even try to hide the disappointment.

Ugh…hand to forehead.

Memories and Experiences last longer than things. 

I stubbornly stick to this and continue to provide memory-making gifts: tickets to concerts and plays; trips to New York for step-daughter’s Sweet 16 and an Instagram-themed trip to L.A. for her 13th birthday; a trip to Universal studios and Philadelphia for my step-son’s birthdays…

…and every year for Christmas I gift my husband a memory book personally customized and curated of all the memories created from the previous year… to ensure that the ungrateful little monsters have a permanent record of all our experiences together.

And whether they appreciate it or not in the moment. When they look back over the years of our holidays and times together, I know from personal experience that it is the things we did together as a family and not the things we bought that will stick with them.

What memories will you create this year?